In India, as girls, we are never expected to earn as much for the survival or luxury. Though few of us do work for necessity but that’s only when the family is in big cash crunch else there’s no such motivation for girls to earn.
What do we all need to maintain a good lifestyle?
Great food
A good/big house to live
Car to drive
Along with cash rich pocket to be able to explore different places in the city and the world!
All this is expected to be well maintained by the guys to whom the girls are supposed to get married. And they do so too. Getting a rich & handsome guy is the only expectations of girls of our society so that they can have a stable life forever!
So does this mean, girls should never aim towards earning huge to be able to buy everything on their own? & to live an independent life?
However, this thought has captured a good space in my head in such a way that I can’t just go away of it!
Fortunately or unfortunately, I have always been accompanied by bunch of guys as friends and never had so many girls around. It’s not because am any extra-ordinary attractive girl that all guys wish to have in life. This was only for one reason that my thoughts never matched with girls of typical mind set as for me studying for a degree to be able to marry a rich guy was never a priority ever.
I never studied just for the heck of it.
I implement whatever I learn or vice versa or nothing.
For many girl friends of mine, working whole day was an escape route from the household affairs. But for me, it was to make the day fruitful.
Sometime back, I got connected to few girlfriends. This time, I found them still better than the earlier lot as I could shop with them, hang around in places and work as well. We have been together since more than 6 months now. I started thinking that may be whatever I was thinking earlier was wrong. There are still girls available in our societies who are fond of living the moment like me and following their ambitions, at the same time. But then, one of them decided to prove me wrong. Despite of being at good age, good qualification and good work environment around, she decided not to perform but to take the money from her family to buy another car as her husband and dad can afford it. I tried to make her understand that why you don’t try the other way round this time. Why don’t you do well in you performance and give this as a returning gift to your husband/ dad? So, she came with an answer that what are they working for? As they decided to pay for the car, she thought she had no responsibility towards this matter at all. As every human being, I look at every situation from 2 perspectives: The Positive & the Negative! Don’t know why but this was really hard for me to resist. Somewhere, I could not take this at all and left this situation without any opinion.
Whom should I blame?
My friend, who’s, totally dependent on her husband/dad and is not conscious about taking a responsibility!
Her parents, who never expected anything from her at right levels while bringing her up?
Or
The society in India, who has never created any such pressure for the girls!
Or
Myself…For Thinking That Ways!
First of all, you should take out that option of blaming yourself for thinking "that ways". In fact, you should compliment yourself for it!
ReplyDeleteParents would be easy to blame but then, they are a part of much larger society which has always groomed the girls in a certain way. Everyone used to believe that the girls are there to be taken care of till their early twenties (or may be late teens) and then married off.
Thanks to girls like you, that thought process is changing rapidly. And trust me, the guys don't want to marry someone whose job is to be pretty and do the household work while he's away earning. I'm sure our generation would lead the change and it'll reflect in a decade.
Great to read your thoughts... keep going!